So today I am cleaning out my filing cabinet and came across an old wedding photo CD. (Thought I had cleared all of that out years ago...eeks!) Anyway, the cover photo was of me, the husband, and Barney (my dog). Barney looked soooo handsome in his black bowtie!
I went to show the CD to Max's nurse so she could see Barney as a young pup (he's been having a lot of health issues recently), but then Max wanted it. It was such an odd moment...I don't think Max has ever seen a photo of his father. (He has met him, but very briefly. I think about five hours in the last two years?) Well sure enough he just pointed out me and then Barney and signed our names. The moment passed and all was well again.
I wonder if someday Maxwell will ask about him. Will he be aware that his biological father isn't around? I sure hope cognitively he is able to comprehend it...and emotionally I hope he can handle it. Strange twist, isn't it? It would be easier in some ways if he didn't cognitively understand...but oh how I hope he does.
7 comments:
That is a hard one, but its wonderful he point you out and Barney.
Hugs,
Crystal and Eva
I completely understand. When my daughter was small I worried because she had no grandparents - my parents were dead and her dad's parents were not close to her. It broke my heart when her friends would talk about their grandparents and tell what their grandparents did with them or bought them.
One day I was discussing it with a very dear friend and she said that my daughter's lack of grandparents troubled me more than it did my daughter because I knew what it was like to have loving grandparents but my daughter could not miss something that she never had.
You have a wonderful, loving Dad and great memories and you think of how Maxwell is missing those experiences. However, Maxwell never had a Dad to miss. There will never be a shortage of people who love you and your little Maxwell.
Max only knows that you are his parent Amy and yes while that is sad to us (adults) he doesn't know that it is different or what we would deem wrong or bad..He only knows this way of life and in his mind this is the best of his life.
You are the best..The only..
Max has great Male role models in his life that were placed there by you and them..He knows where to turn when that time comes..
Hugs
wow how amazing bet hes thinking whos that bet one day when he asks bout his daddy you will just say he didnt care coz he doesnt
Amy - I can't say I've been in your shoes first hand, but I can relate to what you must've been feeling today based only on what I know of my husband's life. His dad left his mom when she was six month's pregnant, because his girlfriend was pregnant. Tom's 40 now and has probably spent less than 12 hours total with his biological dad in his entire life. But you know, they don't mourn for what they never knew. Instead, they bond with the people who are there for them.
Max knows you're his mom, and he counts on you because he knows he can. Because of everything you've done, he will always, always be surrounded by love and he'll always have a stong support system. And the one who is the real loser in this story is Max's biological father, because he has made a conscious choice to miss out on a chance to know and love your amazing little man.
How pathetic to live a life that is sure to someday be full of so many regrets...
It is of course impossible to understand. I wonder if secretly he has found the blog and follows Max's journey from afar. Just an interesting point but of little importance. Max already has two parents... Amy and Amy and wants for nothing more. Cx
You should be glad that man is not in your son's life. What a horrible role model he would be to him. He is much better off without him.
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