Every time Max and I are at the grocery store together, something happens. And that's ok...I have learned to be prepared for the looks, the questions, the comments.
Today a family approached me and said "does he have a disability?" And before I could really answer, the father said "that's so sad, so very sad. He'll outgrow the problems, right?" And of course I responded in my proud mama bear voice, "Sad? No it's not sad at all. Actually it is quite incredible what he has been through and what he has accomplished. He's truly amazing!" I then went on to educate them that children do not "outgrow" genetic disorders. (I did that as politely as I could.)
They were very nice people and were really trying to reach out...but it was one of those situations where the more they said, the worse it got. You know?
The mother went on to say how proud she was of me for "keeping" Maxwell. She said she has several acquaintences who have given up their children once they learn there is something wrong. She wasn't trying to be rude but still those conversations are difficult nonetheless. I will admit to shedding a few tears in the frozen food aisle...but mainly because I was so proud of Max and he was being so ridiculously adorable checking out his reflection in the windows!
I want people to feel comfortable to talk with me about Maxwell. But most importantly, I want them to treat him with respect and encouragement. No pity...no thank you.
God made my son just the way he wanted him to be...100% perfect in his eyes and in mine.
11 comments:
its interesting the people that will c ome up to you ive had soem good ones the ones i prefer r the oldies or the other disabled people or families of those types coz i feel they understand how we are being bit slow them selves i love the old people and disabled people so helpful so kind when im out with northcott if im stuck itsmore often an old person that will help me than a younger person hugs and kisses ellen
wow I cannot even grasp how someone could respond that way. Exspecially to beautiful Maxwell.
Hope you are doing well Amy, can't wait to see you on Tuesday and share my Africa experience with you!!!
Dora
Hi Amy,
Ugh. Like you said, I guess people are just curious (and flustered). But still. I got the "Are those twins?" And I said yes and this lady says, "I feel sorry for you". I looked at her like feel sorry for me? WHY!?
Keep on keepin' on Amy and Max. You guys rock!
Us in Austin
It's a shame that some people can look at a sweetie like Max and see his disabilities, rather than his beautiful eyes and joyous smile. True, I've never seen him in person, but he's just a darling from what I've seen!
I think it's wonderful that people feel comfortable enough with you to be able to ask questions. It is only through educating people that we change the world..and maybe some days it's just one person at a time. I think people see how proud you are of Max, that you truly have nothing to hide and especially not that darling boy and so they DO ask you....
I have a cousin who gave up a child because she was not 'normal' (someone PLEASE explain to me what THAT is! lol)....I still find that hard to understand..
So I guess what I am saying is Kudos to you Amy..you are doing more for this world than you could possibly know!
Hugs
Jaye
Good for you Amy for doing your best to educate. I'm surprised how often strangers come up to you and say things (especially inappropriate things). You must just come across very friendly... I can honestly say that I've only had strangers talk to me or ask questions a few times. I think around here, people are a too intimidated. You did the right thing though. Continue to be strong!
Amy
Well said...and no we dont need pity or sad looks across a store or anywhere else, it drives me insane...and hopefully taught them both a reallity lesson.
I loved the 100% part...so true!
hugs Les and Amélie xx
Wow Way to go Amy!! Gad sure gave Max the best mommy for him and he knew you would do wonderful things for him and your community.
Hugs,
Crystal and Eva
Way to go Amy. That Maxwell, well, they just don't make the any cuter than him. Keep you head up, he is the best thing that has happened to us all. He has truly been an encouragement to me and Alex and many others I know for a fact.
Love and Hugs,
Diane and Alx
May I just say I love ya even more for continuing to take the high road and educating the public and bringing more to Maxwell than he could possibly imagine.
OMG we had a weird conversation today too! Alex had to have dental work at the hospital in the OR. We were in admitting this morning & this guy pops out with "What's wrong with the baby? I don't mean to be rude". Ummmmm then don't use the word wrong!
Anyway I said "he has CHARGE syndrome". He replies with "Downs Syndrome?" By then to be honest I was getting irritated because I needed to be paying attention to what we were there for not explaining choanal atresia to someone LOL. I tried to be polite & explain that it was somthing rare but he kept on & on. Finally he says "You know God will turn things around".
Ummmmmmm ya, I guess. Except I do not feel like I need to turn around. I love Alex the way he is, sure I want to make everything as easy as possible for him but this guy kinda bugged me.
Also when Alex was a baby the local special needs support group parents used to ambush me in the grocery store, it really turned me off to them. I was happily shopping along for some carrots, I did not feel like I needed a support group at that time KWIM?
Anyway, sorry to hijack your blog. LOL Hugs to you guys. Come see Alex's new park pics http://moriahbettencourt.typepad.com
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